Sorry, about the delay in writing. We’ve been exhausted and some are fighting colds.
Anyhow, yesterday (Tuesday) was a very long and trying day. We drove 2 hours to Olivia’s home town of Baoding City. Then we had to sit in a government office for another couple of hours while applying for her passport. It was here during that long wait that we discovered Olivia can stand and yes walk. It began with her backing away from her mother while playing (thus reverse), and then she walked back to her mom (first forward). This was an incredibly exciting moment at first. Then we discovered she liked to run (second forward) as well and as any parent knows the chasing game had begun.
A second momentous event happened during our time in Baoding. A woman from the orphanage was there as well. She went to pick up Olivia and tried to hold her not once, but twice. Each time Olivia turned her head and clung to her mom. She was not about to go back. I believe God has heard and is answering the prayer of bonding we’ve been praying. AMEN We have seen other small signs of bonding throughout our day and a half with Olivia. It is really special to see Olivia hold her arms for her mom to pick her up.
Next we had lunch at an authentic Chinese Restaurant. It was actually quite good. Then we continued on our long 2 hour journey back to the hotel. We got to stop at a shopping market. It was kind of like a Chinese version of Super Wal-Mart. There were all kinds of food, produce, meat and other food items we could not identify. Then they also had clothes, shoes, bedding, baby items and cosmetics, etc. It was really fascinating.
To top off our day we were in the hotel eating some noodles and crackers with Peanut Butter for supper. Something set Olivia off (we’re still not sure what) and she had her first 20 minute melt down (as my sister likes to call them). This is to be expected with any child, but we figured if anyone deserved a good cry and tantrum it would be from a little girl who was abandoned, raised in an orphanage and now is with very strange looking people. But, when she was done, she raised her hands for mom to hold her. I think that’s how it works with all children.
I could go on and on, and maybe I will later tonight. However for now I leave you with some things you can be praying for:
1) Sleep – believe it or not, Olivia has slept quite well. It is the rest of us. Karis as a nervous new mom is up frequently checking on her little one and John is battling a cold and I, well I am just not sleeping well.
2) Continued bonding and understanding between Olivia and Karis.
3) Peace, strength and confidence for Karis as a new mom.
Thanks for following along. It is fun for us to read all of your comments and know that you are all on this journey with us. If some of you moms would send words of encouragement to this new mom that would be great.
Love Christine AKA Auntie Teen
Anyhow, yesterday (Tuesday) was a very long and trying day. We drove 2 hours to Olivia’s home town of Baoding City. Then we had to sit in a government office for another couple of hours while applying for her passport. It was here during that long wait that we discovered Olivia can stand and yes walk. It began with her backing away from her mother while playing (thus reverse), and then she walked back to her mom (first forward). This was an incredibly exciting moment at first. Then we discovered she liked to run (second forward) as well and as any parent knows the chasing game had begun.
A second momentous event happened during our time in Baoding. A woman from the orphanage was there as well. She went to pick up Olivia and tried to hold her not once, but twice. Each time Olivia turned her head and clung to her mom. She was not about to go back. I believe God has heard and is answering the prayer of bonding we’ve been praying. AMEN We have seen other small signs of bonding throughout our day and a half with Olivia. It is really special to see Olivia hold her arms for her mom to pick her up.
Next we had lunch at an authentic Chinese Restaurant. It was actually quite good. Then we continued on our long 2 hour journey back to the hotel. We got to stop at a shopping market. It was kind of like a Chinese version of Super Wal-Mart. There were all kinds of food, produce, meat and other food items we could not identify. Then they also had clothes, shoes, bedding, baby items and cosmetics, etc. It was really fascinating.
To top off our day we were in the hotel eating some noodles and crackers with Peanut Butter for supper. Something set Olivia off (we’re still not sure what) and she had her first 20 minute melt down (as my sister likes to call them). This is to be expected with any child, but we figured if anyone deserved a good cry and tantrum it would be from a little girl who was abandoned, raised in an orphanage and now is with very strange looking people. But, when she was done, she raised her hands for mom to hold her. I think that’s how it works with all children.
I could go on and on, and maybe I will later tonight. However for now I leave you with some things you can be praying for:
1) Sleep – believe it or not, Olivia has slept quite well. It is the rest of us. Karis as a nervous new mom is up frequently checking on her little one and John is battling a cold and I, well I am just not sleeping well.
2) Continued bonding and understanding between Olivia and Karis.
3) Peace, strength and confidence for Karis as a new mom.
Thanks for following along. It is fun for us to read all of your comments and know that you are all on this journey with us. If some of you moms would send words of encouragement to this new mom that would be great.
Love Christine AKA Auntie Teen
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11 comments:
Keep up the good work Karis! I'm sure you already know this, but as much as you can, be Olivia's source of all things comforting and all things food. (That said, you do need to be able to take a shower!)
2 is such a fun age with challenges ahead, but oh so worth it! As much as you think you're bonding now, just wait a few months and you'll see that there is a moment when you will realize that it has gone deeper in a way you can't actually define.
It is humbling and swesome to know that God has entrusted these precious girls to our hands. I am so blessed to get to be Genevieve's Mama; I'm sure you feel the same way about Olivia already. Thanks for sharing your journey with us.
Oh, thanks for the update, I was wondering how you all were doing. Feel better, John! Sweet dreams, Christine! Karis, you look EXHAUSTED. It's the mom look you have been waiting for!! love ya!!
Here is my advice:
you do the best you can. Start with what Annette said: show her LOVE, give her food. Those are the things she needs the most. That's really ALL she needs right now.
What you have done is jump into the mom pool, head first, deep end.
Come up to the surface, relax your body and float. You KNOW how to do this! Don't think for a second you don't. If you have any doubts about what you are doing, well then welcome to the club, every mom does. :) Don't forget that you have on your life jacket (prayer) and there are lifeguards around you, standing by to cheer you on and help when you are in need. (Grandpa, Grandma, Unle John, Auntie Teen and many, many friends who are here for you emotionally, mentally and physically.) God is in the midst of this gift called adoption, he created it. Just like He gives us what we need, you will give her what she needs.
Enjoy every moment, even the exhausting dashing after her!! And after a 4 hour round trip with lots of 'waiting around' if Olivia DIDN'T have a melt down we'd wonder why NOT!!! Way to go, Olivia! We love you, baby girl!!
Wish I could hug you all right now!
love,
Cindy
So happy to see an update this morning! What an exhausting day and like Cindy said, it would be surprising if she didn't have a meltdown. I think that's pretty normal. Miranda has them every other day or so, usually when tired, hungry and she can't do something (stay outside in the rain/cold, figure out how to do something). And watch out when she's tired, hungry and can't do something all at once - a big time for this is the hour between getting home from daycare and eating dinner.
Regarding sleep - I still turn up to the monitor to hear Miranda breathing when I wake up in the morning and I don't think the urge will ever leave me. But it's a good thing, it means she's STILL SLEEPING, yeah!
Karis, all we have to do is look at that smiling face and know that you're doing great!
Joy
We can't help but smile and nod as we read through the daily updates and look at the photos. We remember the exhaustion and exhilaration of instant parenthood in China. Karis: You're doing a fantastic job with Olivia!! She looks so happy and secure with you. Get some rest . . . if Olivia naps, everyone naps. Enjoy every moment of this journey. It will be a precious memory all too soon. Margaret, Tim & Jenna
Karis,
This is an amazing time for both of you but it is also a stressful time. You just need to remember that although you understand what is going on, she doesn't. Her world has been turned upside down. Just be there for her - whatever she needs. The rest will all fall into place in time. You may not feel like you are up to the challenge, especially with a lack of sleep, but you really are. Mommy-mode just kicks in and takes over. It is amazing what you can accomplish when you are half asleep but are in mommy-mode!
You will spend the next few months really getting to know eachother and bonding. You will eventually establish a routine and then you just go from there!
You will be amazed at how much you learn from her! Children are astounding - you will see how fast she learns and picks up the language. She will change every single day.
Document as much as you can - what makes her laugh and smile, things she does and says...it is all so precious and they grow so fast.
God has chosen you to be her mother and her your daughter. It is the most amazing journey. You are in for the ride of your life! Buckle up and hang on - it is completely worth it!
Can't wait to see you both together!
Take care,
Elizabeth
Mommy Karis, Auntie Teen and Uncle John,
This blog is amazing! To be able to share this with you is a gift. Olivia is adorable in every way. Just like other children in the world, she will have moments that make you laugh, sigh, cry and wear you out. But, take it from just another Mom who enjoyed those young years long ago, this child will be such a blessing that you can't even imagine now. Be sure to do as another person wrote, rest when she does. It's tempting to "get things done" when she's sleeping, but take advantage of the quiet time, if the adrenline flowing in you allows it. Rest in the Lord. He is with you in this and will take care of you and Olivia.
God bless,
Audrey
Karis, I know you're a great mama already! I can see it in how Olivia looks at you.
You have the unique situation of jumping right in with an active two-year old - no "warm-up" time!
My best advice is be kind to and forgiving of yourself and enjoy all the little moments with Olivia - it's a tough road, but full of amazing discoveries at every stage. And lean on that big army of friends and family - it takes a village, as they say.
Sarah and Molly and I finally got to see the video last night - the girls are excited to meet Olivia!
Karis- It sounds like you are in the typical mode for someone who recently arrived in a foreign country and was immediately handed a 2 year old. I know exactly how you are feeling and second everyone's advice. Relax, spend time with Oliva, and the rest will fall into place. Also, don't kick yourself if you feel like you are doing enough or doing it right. That is natural to feel in this situation. I still remember my moment sitting the hotel room with Malia and my parents crying and saying "What was I thinking". That moment totally passes and you see all of the great and hard moments of being a parent but wouldn't trade it for anything. Hang in there and try to relax/sleep.
I think the angels were whispering in her ear that you are her new mommy, she sure seems to know it! Go with the flow Karis, it's a constant figuring them out...and sometimes you can't and that's OK. Your doing great already, you seemed like a natural on the video watching you get her undressed (She was laughing at John and Christine!), but what was up with those red pants anyway? Things will calm down when you get home and on a routine. Traveling can be tough on any child (me too), so like I said at the top, go with the flow.
Love hearing the updates!!
-Mary Kay
Oh I just love our blog. It is like being a part of your journey getting to know little Olivia. I love her laughter and she is just too cute!
The Lord says in Jeremiah 31:25
"For I will satisfy their weary soul, and every
languishing soul I will replenish."
We'll keep on praying for that special bonding between Mom and daughter!
love ya,
Laurie & Steve
Amen! So glad to hear how quickly and well Olivia has identified "mommy" ;) That is such a miracle, and I know she can sense the tender loving care from Karis. What an answer to prayer! You must all be exhausted--there's a reason babies are born immobile! Now Karis has to learn (fast!) how to keep up with a 2 yr old. It WILL get SO much easier--traveling with any 2 yr old is exhausting under the best of circumstances. What great fortune to have such ready helpers in Kristine and John--you guys are amazing. Be patient with yourself, Karis. And sleep as much as you're able--the key ingredient to a good day. God is smiling at your love for Olivia and He will give you what you need. None of us is perfect at parenting and we all learn as we go, since each child is SO different. We're praying, Love and hugs, Madison McHugh's
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