Parents everywhere....I salute you!

So I’m pretty sure most parents would agree that their children are the most amazing children in the world. And I’m pretty sure each one of those parents is absolutely right. In fact, I think it’s one of the gifts God gives to parents…the ability to see their children the way He sees them. We see the sweet and tender side, we see the goofy, silly side, and at times we see the naughty side. Yet no matter what side our children are displaying at that moment, they never cease to amaze us. And we love them.

I feel as if I’ve been doing this parenting thing for such a short amount of time compared to most who will read this. And many of you may have gone through some pretty tough trials and tribulations with your children. And I would guess there are moments, or days or months that you would like to erase from your memory. Maybe hardships you wish your children didn’t have to go through. Or hardships your children brought into your life due to decisions they made. But whatever has happened, or whatever will happen, you see your children like no one else can, and you love your children like no one else can.

Olivia and I have only been mother and daughter for 10 months and though I know almost nothing about the first two years of her life, I know much about who my daughter is. I know that she loves to laugh and that her laugh is infectious! I know her heart is good and full of empathy and gentleness. I know she is determined to get words out when her little mouth is preventing her from doing so. And I know I am going to do everything in my power as her mom, to help her to continue to grow and experience life and love. What an amazing gift it is to be a parent.



I never knew how hard it would be to be a parent. And I also never knew how your heart just changes when you become a parent. It becomes softer, squishier, and more willing to change for the good of your child. I think I am learning what it means to love unconditionally.

And I salute all parents out there who already know this and live this. YOU are amazing.

I want to leave you with the words to a Michael Card song from one of Olivia’s cd’s. It brings a reminder of those who watch over our children as they sleep and I think it brings peace whether your child is 3 or 23.

”Oh, unseen warriors, brothers, friends. Who for our safety we depend. I ask you now to come defend, this precious little baby.
I know you’ve been here all along. And will remain her whole life long. But with this simple childish song, I ask you, guard this baby.
Sometimes at night she will awaken. Let her not feel fear forsaken. To every saint your visit paid, you always said, 'Don’t be afraid'."

1st Speech Evaluation

After a WONDERFUL six month period with NO doctor’s visits, we once again headed down to St. Paul to see Olivia’s cleft surgeon. There is the possibility that she will need a 2nd palate surgery to correct some structural issues with her palate that may be affecting her speech.

She is not doing much talking yet but she sure can belt out some good sounds! Sometimes I think she’s actually just talking in another language, German or Japanese maybe? Oddly, it doesn’t sound at all Chinese!

The surgeon determined that she is not speaking enough yet to make a decision about a 2nd surgery and so she will be starting weekly speech therapy with the cleft team through Gillette next week. The speech therapist who did who her initial speech evaluation wrote, “Olivia has a delay in her expressive language skills and her speech production skills. At this time, her resonance has a hypernasal quality and nasal emissions were heard during attempts to imitate single words” (this hypernasal quality is something not uncommon for children with cleft palate and oftentimes is a red flag for additional palate surgery).

The speech therapist also recommended we initiate speech therapy through the school district at this time (in addition to the care she’ll receive at Gillette). So we’ve scheduled an initial visit with the school system and they will be sending out a speech pathologist, the school nurse and an early intervention specialist right after Labor Day. In addition to evaluating Olivia’s speech needs, they’ll do a development evaluation on her.

It all seems a wee bit overwhelming, but at the same time I’m happy that this part of our “cleft journey” has begun! I’m so looking forward to hearing Olivia begin to enunciate words. Even though she can’t talk much yet, she sure can communicate. I often get the “I’m bored” look or the “I’m not going to listen to you” look. And it’s amazing how well she can say “NO!”

In 6 months, we’ll once again return to her surgeon and determine next steps at that time.





It's hard to believe summer is quickly drawing to a close. It's been so much fun to watch Olivia try new things, make new friends and explore all that is wonderful about MN in the summer!

Blessings to you!

A lesson in fear and contentment...

My daughter woke up at 4:30 this morning crying. It wasn’t an “I’m uncomfortable” cry, instead it was a scared cry or a sad cry, I’m not sure which. We rocked for a little while, read a couple of books by the light of the nightlight and got a drink of water. Then I laid her back down in her bed and covered her with her soft blankie. She lay on her side, holding onto her favorite book and closed her eyes as I rubbed her back. She fell easily back to sleep with a smile on her beautiful little face.

As I walked back to my own room, I was a little in awe at the peace and contentment I saw on her face as she was falling back to sleep. From the moment she was brought into my life, I’ve been praying that she would feel safe, that she would learn to trust and that she would know how much she is loved. I thank God for answering that prayer.





And then I started thinking more about the contentment and peace that was so evident in her countenance. She woke up feeling scared or sad and what did she do? She cried out. Her mama came into her room and comforted her and soon she was laughing and contentedly falling asleep once again. She knows she is safe and taken care of. She knows she is loved. She trusts me. So I thought to myself, “How many times do I wake up in the middle of the night feeling sad or scared?” For me as an adult, it generally takes the form of anxiety and the “worry thoughts” sometimes keep me from falling back to sleep. So what is keeping me from crying out to my heavenly Father and allowing Him to comfort me? We have this God who tells us over and over and over in His Word not to worry. “I’ve got it all under control! Trust Me! I love you to pieces and will ALWAYS take care of you!”

If I could truly understand what that meant, if I could truly trust Him, I think I too could fall asleep with a smile on my face.



“But blessed are they who TRUST in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit” Jeremiah 17:7-8a

So many "firsts"!

It's been a Spring and Summer full of "firsts" for Olivia. Her first ice cream cone, her first Merry-Go-Round, her first concert, her first visit to the zoo, her first wedding, her first road trip and her first graduation parties!


It turns out she loves everything that is summer...including playing in the dirt, playing in the water and playing with rocks.

It's so fun to see life through her eyes. She is so full of joy and laughter and she has a way of making everyone around her enjoy life too. Thank you Little O!

Six months ago...

Dear Olivia,
Six months ago I saw you for the first time and was amazed at how beautiful you are. Six months ago I held you for the first time and prayed that you would feel safe. Six months ago I fed you for the first time and you ate all that I offered. Six months ago I changed your clothes for the first time and you laughed. Six months ago I put you to bed for the first time, and then I stayed awake all night, watching you sleep. Six months ago my life and your life changed dramatically. Six months ago I became your mom, and you became my daughter.

I knew our lives would change, but I had no idea how much you would change me. I had no idea that I would see myself more clearly because I was a mom. I had no idea that I would want to become a better person, so that I could become a better mom. I had no idea that you would teach me what it means to love unconditionally. I had no idea that because of you, I would see God more clearly. I had no idea that He would use you to sanctify me. I had no idea that I could love one little person, so very much.

God gave me the most amazing gift when He put you in my arms six months ago. It’s been six months my sweet girl. We have so much more to learn about each other, and I can’t wait.

I love you very much,
Mom

Pray without ceasing!

So just last weekend, I was telling my bible study group that since becoming a mom, I’ve lost the spiritual disciplines that had once been such an important part of my life. And I have NO GOOD reason for it, I just prefer to plop in front of the t.v. or go to bed after putting Olivia down for the night ‘cause I’m just plain tired at the end of the day! So no more was I reading my bible, no more was I praying on a daily basis, no more was I getting my bible study done.

So guess how God is getting my attention? Through my daughter. The one thing I have been trying to be more regular about lately is getting into the practice of prayer before meals. Olivia folds her hands, smiles while I do the praying, and then when we’re done sometimes says “AMEN!” Well this past week, my sweet daughter has been folding her hands at the beginning of the meal, reminding me that we need to pray. She also folds her hands about ¼ of the way through the meal, reminding me that we need to pray some more. And most meals, she folds her hands a third time towards the end of the meal, reminding her mommy that we are to “Pray without ceasing!” (1 Thess 5:17)

God knew what He was doing when He gave me THIS little girl.




I’m attaching some photos of our first Valentines weekend together. We had a very special visitor (Uncle John joined us for the weekend), we went to the Children’s Museum with Sara and Molly, and ate lots of food (still one of Olivia’s very favorite things to do, though she is becoming more particular about what she’ll eat!)

3 weeks post surgery...

....and Olivia is doing great! After two weeks of full liquids, and then one week of soft foods, she got to progress to a normal diet today. Life is good! Her little mouth is healing wonderfully according to her surgeon, and each day she is drooling less and less! She hasn't quite figured out how to keep her tongue in her mouth yet though, ever since the surgery it seems to hang out quite often. I guess with no more hole in her mouth, she's having problems figuring out where it goes?!

We go back to the surgeon and also have a speech therapy evaluation in 6 months. They're hoping she will have developed some speech by then, and will determine at that time whether the 2nd palate surgery is needed. She's trying so hard to say words. She'll concentrate on your mouth as you speak to her, and then try to do the same thing. So far, the only thing that comes out are little sounds.

Even though her speech is delayed, her comprehension is amazing! As of tomorrow, we will have been together for 3 months and already she seems to understand most of what I say to her. This morning on the way to daycare, she took her shoe off while in her carseat. I looked back and said, "Olivia, where did you put your shoe?" She smiled and pointed to the floor of the car, the exact spot her shoe landed.



I'm attaching a photo taken on my cell phone the morning she was discharged from the hospital. It's a little fuzzy but you can tell she was ready to go!!